Anniversary of a death, and it hurts like hell!

Well, today was a tough day. I woke up fine and then after about an hour of being up with the kids I began to feel this sadness with in me, and then like a ton of bricks it hit me....It is the 9th anniversary of the death of my beloved grandpa Carlos. And like I say every year since his passing, it doesnt feel like that long ago.

I have written about him and his battle with cancer before so I'll spare you all the details. (you ca check out my archives for more on my Grandpa)
I just miss him. I miss him most when my 3 kids do things that I know he would absolutely love. But lately, I miss him most when I look at my son.

My baby boy will never meet my grandpa, but he will know about him. I promised myself that one day, when he can understand a bit more that I would tell him all about the greatest man I ever knew.

He will know that my grandpa was an immigrant and became a citizen of the US, the right way. He will know that my grandpa raised 4 kids and he did so by working his hands to the bone in the steel mills of Chicago. My son will know that my grandfather loved my husband and approved of the way he had taken care of me and his oldest sister (now 13) up to that point (before he passed.) My son will know that my grandfather believed that a man is not a man unless he takes care of his family and is an honorable and loving provider.

My grandpa wasn't one to sit around and waste his days, he retired from the steel mills and traveled a little, but then he went right back to work...as a school janitor. He was not ashamed of it either. He worked his way up and became the lead man and eventually retired from that as well, but, even when he worked cleaning schools, he took his job seriously and gave it his all. My grandpa once told me and my brother, and eventually my husband that, no matter what we did in life, what ever job we have, we should always do it to the best of our ability and give it 100%.

My grandfather may not have been perfect, he was a smoker after all, but in my eyes he was. He died too soon. He lost his battle with cancer and I will never forget him and the time we spent together. I wish we had had more time, but so goes life, its not easy and its not always pretty and I know that one day we will be together again.

I miss you Grandpa and most of all I Love you! See you later.  Te quiero!


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