So, this morning I am doing my morning ritual. I said goodbye to my Husband, woke up my 8yr old to get her ready for school. Tiptoed through the house trying not to wake up the baby. 6:30am is too early to for the baby to wake up. I mean, how am I going to sleep in on the weekends, if she gets used to waking up at 6:freaking 30 everyday. Can anyone say INSANE!
So I get my big girl ready for school and right when she is getting her jacket on she
says at the top of her lungs HEY MOM, DO NT FORGET TO GIVE ME SOME MONEY FOR THE CHRISTMAS PARTY AT SCHOOL! In that very instant what do I hear in the baby monitor, YES, the baby. She is saying KAy-YA! Yes She just started saying her big sisters name yesterday. SO I go upstairs and quickly grab the baby out of her crib, run down stairs to let her say goodbye to her big sis, who she will surely miss all day. We say goodbye, give kisses and hugs. I watch her get on
the bus, and close the door when the bus is out of sight.
I go and grab another cup of coffee, and head to the baby changing table....My SOFA. Since I'm already sitting, I grab the remote and tune into the only morning show that seems to make me feel Like I have watched something important, GMA. I am in no way affiliated with them, I just enjoy the program. It has everything you need. NEWS, entertainment, gadget reviews, its kind of like our blogs.
So a certain interview grabs my attention. I have so much to do, but I have to watch. I say to myself, oh this is going to be sad. I prepare myself thinking that I am going to be crying my eyes out. Guess who Diane is interviewing today?
Diane Sawyer is interviewing the mother of of the 19 year old boy that went on a shooting spree at a mall and brutally murdered 8 people. OK I say to myself, as I hold my baby a little tighter.
The mother begins to speak. I watch her, and I see and hear a few things that compelled me to write about this horrific tragedy.
First,I want to talk a little about this 19 year old teenager who's name was Robert Hawkins, and who as Diane said,is technically a man. First of all. This young man obviously had SEVERE mental issues. I have so many questions. He was on Ritalin, and zoloft since he was 5 years old. UH, WHAT? SINCE he was 5? Why? Why would such a young boy need such meds? (said with disappointed curiosity) Why didn't anyone take him to a therapist who could really dig deep and find out what the root of his problems truly were? Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with medications. What I do have a problem with is, medicating the surface. Having had family members who required meds, I know that most people who need meds for help, usually have deep rooted psychological problems that Ritalin is not always going to help. I think what I am trying to say is, using Ritalin that is used to treat Hyperactivity, ADD, and ADHD, is not going to help a Manic depressive personality aka Bipolar dissorder or other severe mental disorders. There are other specific types of medications that are needed for such serious disorders. Let me say this also. Too many people just assume that because your family doctor says one thing, that his or her word is set in stone. Doctors do make mistakes. They can misdiagnose people. I urge everyone to always ask your doctor questions. Ask the doctor if there could be other possible causes for the specific problem you are dealing with. Different disorders may have some of the same characteristics. Make the doctor think. Sometimes after diagnosing 20 other patients before you, on the same day, they can fall into a robotic routine. Asking question can snap them back into reality, and may make the doctor consider other possibilities.
Second of all. I know I shouldn't judge, but if you saw what I saw you would know exactly what I am talking about. Put it this way, if you could have seen the mother of this young man, you would probably be in shock as well.
There was some kind of coldness to her a certain look in her eyes. I don't know whether it was from the shock of losing her son or the whole horrible ordeal that made her look the way she did. Maybe it was the lack of tears. I know people grieve differently. But, my shock wasn't only from the cold unemotional look on her face, it was from her actions, her mannerisms and mostly her words. The words she used were simply ODD. Again maybe it was the grief talking, but if that were true maybe the wise choice would have been to NOT GO ON TV, especially so soon after this tragedy. Anyway, She said something that bothers me. She told Diane that she left her son a note in his coffin. What do you suppose she wrote to him in this note? Perhaps, I love you son, I'm sorry, I will miss you son, or some sort of loving note. NO, she wrote a note saying. "I was right" "I was right about GOD." WHAT THE H????? Are you serious? These are the last words you send into the grave with your son? She also said, she went straight to the place they kept their guns and noticed a gun was missing from their collection. She said that she hoped he had pawned it. ?HUH? You know, I wonder how much she had to do with her sons issues? What made this young man become a ward of the state at a young age? I wonder what his stepmother did to him to make him hate her the way he did? Where was his father during all of this? WHAT IS HAPPENING to our CHILDREN? Let it be known that, I will be damned if I EVER allow anyone to pick on or hurt my child to at all let alone to the point of SUICIDE and MURDER!
I feel bad for all of the lives lost in this tragedy, including the killer himself. So many lives were destroyed. I just want to know where his pain and tortured soul came from. Was he born evil? Was he made this way by his so called family? Was he turned into a killer by the cruelty of other children that bullied him? Or was he just a consequence of today's society? Only God knows. What I know, is that this is yet another wake up call. A lesson for the rest of us to take care of our children. Hold our children, love and nurture our children. If we don't society and all of its filth will devour them and they will suffer, and probably make others suffer along with them.